It’s Never Too Late To Reinvent Yourself
Notes on Change, Courage, and Charting Your Own Path
Never underestimate the power of a fresh start. It’s hard to put into words, but we all know it. There’s something magical about taking a deep breath and walking through the doors of a new job. Or that spark of possibility when you begin typing the first few words on a blank page.
We love to explore and stay curious, always wondering what’s on the other side of that metaphorical hill or at the top of the distant mountain. The butterflies we feel when climbing those hills are what make this life worth living. They’re reminders that to fully realize who we’re meant to be, we must keep pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones. While a short rest in that zone is a reward for hard work, it becomes a prison the longer we stay. We are not meant to rest on our laurels.
So, how do we break free from that prison? Simple. We shake things up, try new things, and reinvent ourselves.
If You Don’t Swim, The Tide Will Take You
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been fed a lie about how life should go.
At 17, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I shrugged and said I liked airplanes. My high school guidance counselor looked at my grades, strong in math and science, and said, “I think Aeronautical Engineering is a good fit for you.”
Ok.
I took more aptitude tests in school. One suggested I’d do well in architecture.
Ok.
In the fall of 1989, I entered engineering school as an undeclared major. By the spring of 1990, I declared civil engineering. I worked through the curriculum and graduated five years later with a bachelor’s degree.
Then came the next script. Get a job and work as an engineer.
So I did. I landed an entry-level engineering job and moved to New Mexico. For four years, I worked my ass off, 50 to 60 hours a week, because that’s what was expected.
My stress was off the charts. I treated my body poorly. The work kept piling on, and no one helped me navigate it. I was told, point blank, “Swim, fucker.” They laughed.
But that line bored into my soul.
Then they handed me the largest design project I’d ever seen, alone, with a ridiculous deadline. It was do-or-die time. I did, and I didn’t die.
One weekend, while pulling a 48-hour shift at the office, somewhere between hallucination and burnout, I felt a divine presence around me. Something was keeping me from falling apart.
On Monday morning, my boss walked in at 7 AM and said, “Is it done yet?” No “good morning.” No “how are you doing?”
I cracked. I hit bottom. Rage surged in my tired body, and all I wanted to do was storm into his office and lay into him. But I didn’t. That divine presence whispered, “Don't do it. That’s what he wants.”
"It's not over till you're underground. It's not over before it's too late" — Letterbomb by Green Day
I calmed down, sent the final plots to the printer, packed up my stuff, and went home to sleep. I fell into a deep sleep the moment my head hit the pillow.
Six hours later, I woke up. Not refreshed, but changed. I realized that up until that moment, I hadn’t been living life on my terms.
No, I had been living the life others told me I should live. They were vampires, draining my time and energy, leaving behind a bitter man in a glorious world.
I looked at the ceiling and muttered, “That’s not me. I’m done with this.” I refused to be a jellyfish floating with the current. From that day on, I would be a ship. I would chart my own course.
Who Dis? New Me
Sometimes things are so broken they can’t be fixed. We’re told, “Don’t give up” or “Winners never quit.” Sure, those are true, but mostly for what’s inside you. Outwardly, some situations simply can’t be salvaged.
Sometimes the wisest move is to let those things go. Burn them down and build something new on the ashes. A new job. A new relationship. A new life.
After that weekend, I chose to reinvent myself. I didn’t know who that person would become, but I did know what I didn’t want.
I didn’t want my curiosity stamped out.
I didn’t want my kindness mistaken for weakness.
I didn’t want a life in a cubicle.
I didn’t want black and white. I wanted color.
So what did I do? How did I start? First things first, I needed to jettison my toxic work environment.
I started discreetly interviewing with competitors. I quickly realized they were more interested in poaching me than in helping me grow. They offered the same tired spiel. Passion exploitation. Work 45 hours, get paid for 40. Somehow, word got back to my employer that I was interviewing.
I was pissed. I realized I was at a dead end in New Mexico. And because I was young, with very little saved, I couldn’t just quit and then look for a job. I had bills to pay. So I made the hard decision to leave New Mexico and move back home.
I wanted to stay, but everything was broken. The job, the interviews, the industry. So I packed up and left.
Charting My Reinvention Over the Years
My life has changed for the better since I decided to start living on my terms. When something felt wrong or off and I didn’t like it, I made changes. I refused to settle.
I improved my life. I went back to school for a graduate degree. I joined Toastmasters. I met my soulmate. I ended up switching careers. My life became more unruly, wilder, and far more interesting because I was in control of my destiny, for better or worse.
Some people might look at my life now and say I live a “gilded life.” Maybe. But I’ll tell you this. It was hard work getting here. There were times when I would get knocked down and beaten up by life. After lying in the dirt for a few minutes, I would get back up, dust myself off, and keep moving ahead.
This was my life, and I would live it my way.
You don’t need to hit rock bottom like I did to reinvent yourself. You don’t need permission. You just need a moment of honesty and the courage to take the first step.
Maybe it’s a new job. Maybe it’s painting again. Maybe it’s ending something broken or starting something wild. The point is, you can change. You can evolve. You can become the person you were always meant to be.
So ask yourself:
Who could I become if I stopped living on someone else’s terms?
Then take one small step toward that answer.
Today.
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Absolutely lovely.
Another great one Thomas!